Pandora Flakes
They should make, uh, Ferngully Flakes
I feel like something changed after December of 2009. Like something cosmically. Do you remember what cinema was like before Avatar? What life was like before Avatar? I saw that movie twice in theaters, once with my friend Vinny, and the other time with my highschool animation class. The first time felt like a dream -- I really hadn't seen much of the movie in terms of trailers or anything, so I kinda went into it blind. I knew there were giant blue aliens but that was about it. Vinny was really excited to see it. He was constantly saying things like "This will be the movie of our generation, just wait". It's hard to really remember what it was like watching Avatar for the first time but thankfully I didn't record a video for my YouTube channel that week and needed something to upload.
It did feel like the movie of our generation. I hadn't seen a movie that looked like that, that sounded like that before. And I wasn't alone -- I remember looking over to Vinny, who was a big brutish jock with a heart of gold, almost in tears from the excitment that movie left him with. After we walked out of that theater, it's all we talked about. What it would be like to be a Na'vi, to interact with the fauna of Pandora, to be a part of that culture. We were able to convince our school that our animation class NEEDS to see that movie in theaters. Which we did -- two whole months later that movie was still in theaters. It was one of those.
Cinema was in a post 9/11 world. We needed a W. Avatar was our W.
When I went into WalMart the other week for my boyfriend's eye exam, I got the chance to walk around and explore the wares of the Wal. The WalWares. On the end of the clothes aisle, I notice a box of Pandora Flakes just sitting there, with no boxes taken from the end cap. I felt like I was committing a crime when I picked up the box and put it in my cart. My boyfriend laughed when he saw it. He had just seen Avatar for the first time and he was very positive about the movie, especially Pandora, so I thought it'd be funny to buy a box and have it stain our cupboard for a week until we throw it out. On a particularly hungry morning, I decided to forgoe the usuals and try out Pandora Flakes for the fuck of it. To my surprise, the bag was already opened, come to later find out my roommate had tried a bowl herself.
If you weren't able to guess, Pandora Flakes are Frosted Flakes but they have little, like, blue Crunch Berry's in them. The cereal isn't too bad, all things considered. The blue Crunch Berries are kinda wack, they tasted like candy the first time I bit into them, but on my second bowl I grew to like them. That's right, baby, second bowl. I was shocked too. I think there was something nostalgic about eating an Avatar branded cereal. Like, it was nice seeing Avatar toys back on the shelves, and to hear kids do the Na'vi cry when they play with their other friends. At the third bowl, I realized that it kinda tastes like shit when it gets soggy. The Frosted Flakes kind of suck, they tasted like C-Tier flakes. I know for a fact it was the same fuckin' flakes they put in everything but I dunno. Just got that vibe. I had my last bowl just before writing this, and I can definitely say Pandora Flakes are medicore. But I had a really nice time eating them.
I think Vinny is a boot now? I haven't talked to him since we graduated. Or really anyone from my animation class. Time ticked on, and I forgot about how much Avatar meant to me. I was a budding 3D animation student and Avatar was the shit to me, but now I'm 30 years old and callused. I haven't even seen Avatar 2 yet. But it was nice to go back to a simpler time. A time when my friend could tell me that there was a new movie coming out that will define the late aughts - and mean it. A naive moment in time where we knew it was too good to be true, but we constantly wanted to be proven wrong. Pandora Flakes kinda suck, but it's not about the Flakes.
Also it doesn't turn your milk blue, so what's the fucking point.
